Hey Zo, I think you’ll find the next couple of weeks a bit hard navigating through online. It’s always these two weeks that bother you. It’s because you’ve always felt like you belonged in California, and this is the time that everyone gets flown out to your favourite place on this planet – the desert. It’s Coachella season. You didn’t buy a ticket / George didn’t have any holiday left from work and you didn’t want to go without him. Not that he’d like it anyway. He’d only complain that Every Time I Die weren’t on the lineup and that the crowd were assholes and the beer was overpriced. But you’d laugh anyway and enjoy it. Or would you? Do you really actually want to go to Coachella or do you just feel like you do because in this two weeks, it looks like everyone on Instagram is there? I don’t actually know if you’d enjoy it. You prefer festivals like Download where people wear their oldest grubbiest clothes and get down and dirty in the pit because it’s their favourite band ever, and forget to take any photos in the moment. Still, it bothers you. You felt a connection to Joshua Tree, to a moment in time there, to your engagement, to your wedding. You feel at one with the trees, the ground, the earth, the desert. You love the people, the friends we have made out there and feel affinity to their creative story. You’ll struggle to see everyone on Instagram there without you, but the best is yet to come. It sounds like a cliche, something your mum always told you as a kid right? – “oh darling, not to worry, because the best is yet to come.”
You’ve had a few wobbles so far this year, wondering if the best had already come, and gone. If you’d ever top the wedding of your dreams to the person of your dreams you never imagined you would ever meet. You feel pressure from all angles turning 30, but the one thing you keep hearing from people – the lash lady, the woman you met at the dinner table last week, the people in your DMs on Instagram – that yet again, turning 30 just means that the best is yet to come. It’s taken you a while to realise it, you know it has. You’re stubborn, a classic Taurus, think you know best always. But you don’t. You don’t know how much easier it will get. The idea that life is a journey has never felt more prevalent, you move forward – and backward sometimes – as anyone does on a journey. Some parts are uphill, and some parts are rocky. It’s hard to keep climbing when you’re worried you’ve already peaked. But you haven’t. No one has. You look forward because there is a forward, there is always a new day and a new chance to do something. No, really, do something. You want to see Asia, you want to get a new kitchen, you want to embark on a family life with George whether it’s animals (more likely) or humans (still likely but less so right now) but you have all of this to look forward to.
You’re often easily swayed by Instagram. You know that everyone else is too, but it still doesn’t stop you feeling like you’re behind. You’re left out. You’ll feel that this week. No amount of horoscopes you read, no amount of clutching onto your crystals or hoping someone will magically decide to take you to Coachella will work. You won’t be there and you know it. This is okay. This is a metaphor. You have to work hard for the things you want in life and you have to rest hard too. You’ve lived already some amazing things and when you sit and think about what the future holds for you it’s not grey it’s vibrant. It’s full of colour and life. It doesn’t matter that you missed Coachella, or Eurovision or any of those other things you like – because you also love naps, food and binge watching Queer Eye and that makes you happy too. Life is about balance, you can’t be busy all the time. You need time to yourself, time together and time to flourish. Instagram gives you this unrealistic view both of people younger than you at different points in their life and the people older than you with all the fancy stuff you can’t afford yet. You’ve been young, you lived it. You’re about to turn 30 and you are absolutely flourishing. So is everyone reading this. If you’re having a bad day or feeling the unrealistic societal expectations, both you, and your open diary need to remember that not only is there always a fresh page ready for you to write, but truly, the best is yet to come.