Photography: George J Rockett | Words: Zoe London
I’ve always been responsive to the sun, and sunny days.
I am 100% a Summer baby. I was born in May, so technically actually more of a Spring baby, but I respond wholeheartedly better to the sun. I love being warm. I love the smell of fresh hot Summer days, spent in the garden or by the beach. My skin over the years has grown accustomed to actually tanning and not just going pink like the usual English fare, and well, it mostly boils down to the fact that I just absolutely bloody hate being cold.
I’d wanted a last minute holiday with George before the end of the year was up and we decided to go to New York. Having previously been together in 2014, although I had returned myself since without him, it was long overdue. The weather stayed just wonderful, with some days hitting 27 degrees. I needed that last bit of sun, that last bit of warmth in my bones before the winter sets in and for me it does the absolute world of good.
I dread Winter. I absolutely dread it. I hate the early evenings with the lack of sunlight and as I mentioned earlier – I just detest being cold! I’m not a very good English person, I know. I have two SAD lights in the house, one in the bedroom and one in the office, which I usually keep on all day, all Winter. I’d never be one to say I struggle with full blown depression because hand on heart I don’t think I do – but I’m never at full happiness in Winter. I feel sad a lot more, I lack energy, I’m down and I often don’t get much daylight. Especially working from home. Every Winter I try and anticipate it coming, and try to get better at managing it – but it’s not often that easy.
I constantly find it fascinating how as humans we are so receptive to things like this. To seasons, to light, to what it does to our senses. I’m generally a pretty positive person, and I try to find positive outlooks at times when I do feel sad – because we all get sad. I seem to get more sad in Winter, and I can’t even count on both hands the amount of times George has come home and I’m slumped on the sofa in the dark fed up at the lack of light and what it does to me. I don’t know why I’m more receptive to sun, but it’s like when the sun is beaming down on me even if I’ve had four hours sleep, I’m operating at 100% energy and happiness. If I’ve had four hours sleep and I’m cold or it’s Winter, I immediately operate only at 50%. I’m just not me. I love London, I always have done and I always will – but even London under the Christmas lights is still in my eyes the worst time of year.
It’s not that I don’t like Christmas, by the way. Christmas is great. I just wish it was on a hot sunny day. I know, I’m backwards for where I live in the world, but that’s just me. Why do you think I escape to California as soon as I can, and why for me the hot arid desert is the absolute wedding paradise I’ve dreamed of? Man. Just looking at these Central Park photos makes me feel how warm I felt then. Trust me, I enjoyed and breathed in every single minute of that warm coursing through my bones.
I know Winter is here now, I’m unprepared, but I’ll do my best. Just as I always do. With a calendar secretly counting down to the clocks going forward again…
Do you struggle with SAD like me? If so leave some tips in the comments below for anyone else who does!